Whether you’re newly married or have been together a long time, at some point there’s a worry that’s probably crossed your mind: divorce. Even if you don’t have any urge to get divorced yourself, it’s hard to ignore the discussion & statistics all around us through media or friendships. But just because divorce is common doesn’t mean it has to happen to you. One of the best things that you can do is look back and learn from relationships that have gone wrong, so you can stop yourself from making the same mistakes. There’s not just one solution to making a marriage or relationship work. Complacency, a lack of respect, and being too self-involved are other factors. Taking the time to connect with your partner, thinking about their point of view, and remembering why you love each other can make all the difference.
Communication is one of the most important tips for keeping your relationship happy and healthy. Talking ensures both parties have a very clear mutual understanding of what they want out of their partner and out of life, whether it be in regard to career, finances, religion, children, etc. It has to be more than just talking. It needs to be about actively listening to understand where the other person is really coming from. Listening is at the heart of a close relationships with others. Instead of just thinking of your own response, put aside your own judgments, opinions, thoughts, and expectations and just listen. You should make an effort to see things from each other’s point of view.
Prioritize Quality Time
It’s easy to get complacent in relationships, but it’s important that you make the time to really connect face to face with no distractions. A date night, once per week, without your cell phones in hand was a key compromise. By spending quality time with each other, without any distractions, you are able to get to know each other again, enjoy each other’s company, and remain happy in your relationship.
Don’t underestimate the value of quality, distraction-free communication to really connect. Here are some more tips for keeping your relationship happy
Lots of relationships fall apart because one person sees themselves as the “good” partner who never messes up or does anything wrong, while blaming everything else on the other person. But everyone makes mistakes. It is crucial that both partners acknowledge how their actions affect one another. Failing to accept the blame and responsibly means it is always your partner’s fault. If that is true, then you are sending the message that your partner is subordinate to you. This will cause resentment because your partner will feel that they are constantly being judged. By owning up to your own mistakes, you’ll keep the relationship on a solid foundation.
Sometimes, marriages or relationships go wrong because there are unrealistic expectations from the beginning. This is likely because couples focus so adamantly, for example, on the idea of marriage and planning their wedding. Couples don’t take the time to make sure they are marrying someone they are compatible with. You should be honest with your feelings about the person you’re with and set realistic expectations.
For a relationship to work—and for a marriage to survive—you have to be willing to meet in the middle. “Marriage will be the hardest thing you will do (aside from becoming a parent),” Sodoma says. “Compromise and putting someone else’s interests ahead of yours on a regular basis is not necessarily easy or natural behavior. And, saying sorry is meaningless unless you know why you are apologizing and will use your best efforts not to rinse and repeat.”
Make a commitment to be honest with each other. Our friends at brides.com say, honesty is fundamental to a relationship. Without it, there is no trust. And without trust, the relationship falls apart. Honesty isn’t just about not lying, it’s also about being candid and open about how you’re feeling and not withholding information. Be as open as you can to avoid resentments.
Stay Flirty and Playful
One thing that can create distance in a relationship is taking each other for granted. This is one of those tips for keeping your relationship happy that can be fun. If you stop romancing and flirting with each other the spark will fade. During the beginning stages of a relationship it is all about planning fun dates and romantic weekend getaways. But then that can easily fade with additional responsibilities, work, children, etc. It’s crucial to keep the spark alive. Whether it is a nice dinner out of the house or a weekend getaway, couples need to experience a change of scenery to engage in one on one conversations. It reminds them why they decided to spend their life or time with this person. Tried to be spontaneous with playful plan to keep the spark in the relationship.